urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx $ $ 2006-10-05T19:24:55Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:58356 2006-10-05T19:24:55Z 2006-10-05T19:24:55Z i like having you around. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:57724 2006-09-25T02:41:40Z 2006-09-25T02:41:40Z i like my life a lot urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:57079 2006-09-19T19:45:21Z 2006-09-19T19:45:21Z Cursed with a love that you can't express. It's not for a fuck or a kiss. I'd rather give the world away than wake up lonely. Everywhere and every way I see you with me. <i>Crowd surf off a cliff, land out on the ice.</i> Crowd surf off to sea, float towards the beach. <br /><br />If you find me, hide me, I don't know where I've been...<br /><br />Are we breathing? Are we breathing? Are we wasting our breath? It won't be enough to make us rich! I'd rather give the world away than wake up lonely, everywhere and every way I see you with me. All the babies tucked away in their beds, we're out here screaming, "The life that you thought through is gone!" Can't wind down, the ending outlasting the move. I wake up lonely.<br /><br />If you find me, hide me, I don't know where I've been. When you phone me, tell me everything I did. If I'm sorry you lost me than you'd better make it quick, 'cause this call costs a fortune and it's late where you live. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:50875 2006-08-09T14:20:43Z 2006-08-09T14:20:43Z "when i'm lost in a crowd, i hope that you'll pick me out. oh how i long to be found." urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:36128 2006-05-15T19:44:09Z 2006-05-15T19:44:09Z its ahrd to believe that one day i will never see you again urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:27028 2006-03-24T21:08:40Z 2006-03-24T21:08:40Z today was an okay day.<br />music wasn't great cuz i was just hanging out with jesse and kevin and they're kind of assholes. but i guess it's because that's how our friendship really is right now. and maybe that'll make us closer in the long run. but at the moment it's just a piss off.<br />and then second was fine. i walked to the recs center with tyler before his co op and when i was walking back i just was sort of thinking about things.<br />about how, i have spent so much time worrying about what things are going to be like when my friends leave innisdale and other things like that. and i think that i realized i'm okay by myself. i like that i don't need anyone other than myself. <br />so i after this i didn't really feel like seeing anyone so i went to the library and found a new book to read.<br /><br />tonight i'm going to newmarket and maybe i'll see gill but probably not.<br />i'm kind of dissapointed with myself at how selfish i'm being about this situation but i do understand that is pretty much just the way that i am now. and maybe doing something or just thinking for yourself, making my own decisions, is something i should do more often.<br />i feel bad because i don't want to hurt her. but i don't want to have this drag on, because i think that eventually we will both be happy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:25914 2006-03-17T19:26:09Z 2006-03-17T19:26:09Z used to be one of <br />the rotten ones <br />and i liked you for that <br />now you're all gone <br />got your makeup on <br />and you aint coming back <br /><br />bleeching your teeth <br />smile like a flash <br />talking trash under your breath <br />(or under my window) <br /><br />park that car <br />drop that phone <br />sleep on the floor <br />dream about me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:25829 2006-03-16T21:24:09Z 2006-03-16T21:24:09Z so i guess that there are these typical situations that you can't really avoid. and these people that do these things, and your reaction, and their reaction to your reaction.<br /><br />everything seems so complicated when it's really not.<br /><br /><br />i hate how, i always get what i want. but i wanted was never as exciting as i'd imagine.<br />it's hard to really think about the future, and all of the change that is going to happen.<br /><br />i feel like i am just standing still and watching everyone fly by, making things happen for themselves. just the way i want to.<br /><br /><br />everything seems so dissapointing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:25055 2006-02-18T18:22:53Z 2006-02-18T18:22:53Z i think i want to quit smoking.<br />i'm in love with karen o.<br />uhm.<br />i hate i had 40 dollars yesterday to buy cigs and hair dye and whatever.<br />and now i only have 8 left, and i didn't buy either of the two.<br />ugh.<br />fuck.<br />anyway.<br />i'm sick and it's pissing me off cuz i wanna go out.<br /><br />time without you drags me down, it all feels right with you around.<br /><br /><br />hm.<br />well ugh whatever, i hate livejournal. it's boring and i don't have anything to even write about.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/CH/CHI/chikpymp/1128470412_040211_LWord_02.jpg" border="0" alt="Jen &amp; Marina"><br>Jen & Marina<br />You are sneaking around because one of you has an<br /><br />"other" life. You are falling fast<br /><br />and your mind is going crazy with thoughts.<br /><br><br><a title="Take this quiz at Quizilla" href="http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=57&amp;url=http://quizilla.com/users/chikpymp/quizzes/What%20L%20Word%20couple%20are%20you%3F"> What L Word couple are you?</a><br> <font size="-2">brought to you by <a title="Quiz, Horoscope, Flash Games, Poems - Quizilla!" href="http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=56&amp;url=http://www.quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:23210 2006-02-06T20:45:03Z 2006-02-06T20:45:03Z There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it", and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet there was one. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:22982 2006-02-06T17:33:32Z 2006-02-06T17:33:32Z bolder thing to do this weekend was pretty good.<br /><br />Friday I went over to Brittany's house really early in the morning and just hung out until she woke up. Took pictures, watched TV. Then Rosie came over and we went to hockey and it was fun. Thennn we came home, ordered pizza, watched Suicide Girls. And then I went to bed, I don't really know what else went on that night.<br />And then the next day I went over to my grandparents and waited for my mum to pick me up...and then I went home. <br />I know, that sounds boring. but it was nice.<br /><br /><br />anyways.<br />i can't stop listening to this song. i'm not sure who i think about when i hear it.<br />but that is what really draws me into a song, whether or not i can relate to it. and i think that i can, with a number of certain people.<br />none of you really care.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br />:::DEADLY SINS SURVEY:::<br /><br /><br />WRATH<br /><br />1. Who did you last get angry with?<br />uhm probably my mum.<br /><br />2. What is your weapon of choice?<br />chainsaw?<br /><br />3. Would/have you hit a member of the opposite sex?<br />i have, but not seriously.<br /><br />4. How about of the same sex?<br />uhm, girl fights are lame but if i was really mad and felt like i wouldn't get my ass kicked sure haha.<br /><br />5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?<br />uhm. i'm not really sure. i try to stay away from fights.<br /><br />6. What is your pet peeve?<br />people who are extremely hypocritical, druggies.<br /><br />7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?<br />most of the time i can't hold a grudge, i end up just giving up on it.<br /><br />SLOTH<br /><br />1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?<br />drink water.<br /><br />2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?<br />4pm<br /><br />3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but havent?<br />my dad.<br /><br />4. What is the last lame excuse you made?<br />most of my excuses are lame.<br /><br />5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?<br />only for that brush that turns around by itself. i can't remember what it's called. anyways, i got one for christmas and it totally sucked. and i haven't watched one since!<br /><br />6. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?<br />today i woke up without my alarm, it was kind of weird.<br /><br />GLUTTONY<br /><br />1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?<br />i'm not really sure.<br /><br />2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?<br />white.<br /><br />3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?<br />i don't drink a lot, and it doesn't take much to get my drunk.<br /><br />4. Are you comfortable with your drinking habits?<br />yep.<br /><br />5. Do you like candy?<br />not really.<br /><br />6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?<br />salty.<br /><br />7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?<br />uh no, sorry.<br /><br />LUST<br /><br />1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?<br />2 or 3. i don't know.<br /><br />2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting family/physicians)?<br />not many.<br /><br />3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex?<br />haha. probably<br /><br />4. Have you had sex?<br />no<br /><br />5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?<br />i like noses. haha that sounds stupid but they totally make a person's face.<br />and backs/shoulders.<br /><br />6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?<br />hahahah no.<br /><br />7. Have you ever gotten tested for STDs or pregnancy?<br />no.<br /><br />GREED<br /><br />1. How many credit cards do you own?<br />nonee.<br /><br />2. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?<br />i would buy a car, and moveeee out. <br /><br />3. Would you rather be rich, or famous?<br />famous.<br /><br />4. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?<br />probably.<br /><br />5. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?<br />too many<br /><br />PRIDE<br /><br />1. What's one thing have you done that you're most proud of?<br />i honestly can't think of anything right now.<br /><br />2. What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?<br />i don't know. just become a better person than i was last year.<br /><br />3. What thing would you like to accomplish later in your life?<br />to find a career that i really like and go to school for it.<br /><br />4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?<br />not usually.<br /><br />5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?<br />probably. i'm not sure.<br /><br />6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?<br />yeah.<br /><br />7. What did you do today that you're proud of?<br />said no to french fries lol<br /><br />ENVY<br /><br />1. What item of your friends' would you most want to have for your own? <br />ugh tattoos.<br />or a car.<br />or hmm. i'm not sure<br /><br />2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?<br />not sure. any of my friends would be fun.<br /><br />3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?<br />i'd want to be myself, i'd just want to be a bit different.<br /><br />4. Have you ever been cheated on<br />yeah.<br /><br />5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?<br />yes.<br /><br />6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?<br />nice nose, nice body.<br /><br />Which do you think is your most deadly sin?<br />pride or sloth.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />1. Honestly, are you in love right now?<br />not at all.<br /><br />2. Honestly, what color is your underwear?<br />black<br /><br />3. Honestly, whats on your mind right now?<br />nicole. just because i'm talking to her.<br /><br />4. Honestly, what are you doing right now?<br />playing bass.<br /><br />5. Honestly, what did you do today?<br />watched some of Wicker Park.<br /><br />6. Honestly, do you think you are attractive?<br />Um. It depends.<br /><br />7. Honestly, have you done something bad today?<br />i don't think so.<br /><br />8. Honestly, do you watch disney channel?<br />no.<br /><br />9. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?<br />yeah. definetly.<br /><br />10. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?<br />certain people.<br /><br />11. Honestly, do you bite your nails?<br />yes.<br /><br />12. Honestly, what is your mood right now?<br />bored<br /><br />13. Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment?<br />tyler because he has my wallet. and i could use a good laughhh right now.<br /><br />14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?<br />not really.<br /><br />15. Honestly, do you hate someone right now?<br />yes.<br /><br />16. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?<br />anyone.<br /><br />17.honsetly, are u loyal?<br />to very few people, but yes.<br /><br />18. Honestly, are you in denial?<br />yes. sometimes.<br /><br />19. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now?<br />yeah.<br /><br />20. Honestly, do you like someone?<br />yes.<br /><br />22. Honestly, does anyone like you?<br />no.<br /><br />23. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?<br />no.<br /><br />24. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly? <br />yes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:18801 2006-01-09T21:24:07Z 2006-01-09T21:29:32Z bad as they seem. you talk about her the way that i would talk about you.<br />so i lied, i do think about you a lot and i hate it. but it's not like it's one of those things that you can really help, you know?<br />yeah.<br /><br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br />and so it is just like you said it would be. life goes easy on me, most of the time. and so it is the short story. no love, no glory. no hero in her sky.<br /><br />i can't take my eyes off of you.<br /><br />and so it is just like you said it should be. we'll both forget the breeze, most of the time. and so it is the colder water, the blowers daughter, the pupil in denial. I CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU.<br /><br /><br />"Did I say that I loathe you?<br />Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?"<br /><br />I can't take my mind off of you. Until I find somebody new.<br /><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:13810 2005-12-10T05:43:50Z 2005-12-10T05:43:50Z i want every single one of you to comment me or phone me or talk to me.<br />and tell me every single thing i do that you <u>hate</u>.<br />that's really just what i need for you to do. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:murderoticaxxx:525 2005-09-18T14:59:58Z 2005-09-18T14:59:58Z we belong together &hearts;FRIENDSONLY&hearts;<br /><br /><br />buy me a blow up doll and maybe I'll consider adding you.